Last week I was wondering about house alarms. We live in a pretty safe area but I think about these things sometimes. Then I started thinking that really my house is already equipped with several alarms that came at no charge. The question is, is mine the only one? Do you have similar alarms like these...
First, the "mommy is in the middle of something important" alarm. This one is really an all purpose alarm. It can go off any time of the day and can involve any number of children. It is usually reserved for times that I am doing something that requires my undivided attention, like paying bills, sewing or writing (like this moment when I am trying to write this and Sally is finding it necessary to talk to me about my hair). It can also go off when cooking or talking to a neighbor.
Next is the "mommy is going potty" alarm. This alarm goes off at least once a day and usually involves only one child with a relationship crisis. That is code for sibling conflict that must be solved right now and often is accompanied by tears on someone's part. I think they have rigged the potty with a scale to set off the alarm only at the proper time, when I am present, as it does not seem to happen to Richard, EVER. Maybe he rigged it...hmmm.
Then we have the "mommy is on the phone" alarm. I have a feeling I am not the only home equipped with this alarm. The reason I say this is because I have been on the phone with friends before and I have heard their alarm go off, too. This alarm can also involve multiple children and is the loudest of all. It can wake sleeping children so they, too, can get involved. I believe with all my heart that the cordless phone was created by a mother trying to escape this alarm's deafening sound. I also think that the merits of a cordless phone can be measured by its ability to work in a locked closet in the master bedroom.
Surely there are other alarms that could be listed like the "mommy's trying to nap" alarm, the "mommy's trying to read her Bible" alarm, or the "mommy is at the end of a really good book" alarm. How about you? Any of this sound familiar?